Who will you tell “I Love You” this Valentine’s Day?
It’s wonderful if you’ve found love, but how you feel about yourself is at the core of wellbeing, happiness and key to being able to live the life you dream of.
The most important person to love is yourself.
Until you love yourself for who you are irrespective of size, looks, success or failure, you will continue to be conflicted inside. The inner voices of self-doubt and sabotage will continue to zap your energy and impact the way you live your life.
It’s not easy to love yourself after all most of us are our own worst critics. But believe me, once you start to like yourself for who you are and start to be the person you want to be, loving yourself will become easier.
Over the next few blogs we will post a number of different ways to help you to love yourself this Valentine’s Day.
The best place to start is to learn to hear the voices in your head. Do they make you feel good about yourself? Do they help you live the life you want to live?
If the answer is yes, that’s great! However if they are unhelpful, then it’s time to change them.
Here are three steps to changing the voices in your head:
1) Notice what you say and when you say it
Often what we tell ourselves has been with us for a long time. The voices seem to happen automatically and before we know it the stories have begun. To be able to change what we are saying to ourselves, we first need to notice the voices and what they are saying. It’s you saying those things after all!
2) How does it make you feel?
If it makes you feel good, GREAT. Notice what triggered it and take every opportunity to ensure it happens again and again.
If it’s not so uplifting, then ask yourself a few questions:
- Would it be kind to talk to others in the same way?
- If not, what is my intention in saying these things to myself – what do I want it to do?
- Do I believe it? And if I do – where did I get the evidence that this is true?
- Could I say something else that would give me a different perspective?
- Is this something I want to spend my energy thinking about?
3) Change what you are telling yourself to something more helpful.
If you decide what you are telling yourself is unhelpful and would like to change it, then replace the words with something more positive.
To begin with it will feel strange and even awkward; after all you have been telling yourself these things unconsciously for some time, but stick with it. It will take a number of repetitions before the story has changed to a more positive one.
If you need some help or want to discuss this in more detail, contact us, we will happily help you to work through it.